View Full Version : Diary of a Squirrel

13 Mar 2017, 10:37 AM
Posting our diary-entries here, since nobody bothers to read our profile :(
Divas need attention

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First entry:

Today I found myself lost in a large forest. Full of light, shining down from treetops. I made my way across the the dead leaves, laying there as a warning of the future winters to come.
Suddenly I froze, hearing the distant chattering of an unknown source.
I breathed heavily, then slowly I began feeling strong, courageous and full of fluffyness again.
I moved across the hill, slowly and full of curiosity I looked above the hilltop, and there, glittering in the water of the lake..... Italians.... eating pizza while bathing!!

Absolutely Barbaric!


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Second entry:

After a harsh winter, I spent the morning collecting nuts in the woods, when the strangest thing happened. Out of nowhere, God himself appeared before me! Starstruck and afraid, I couldn't move, and to make things even worse, God decided to smite me with his angelic troops! But as a critter of the forest, the other animals decided to help me, and together we crushed God's minions on our own turf.

Are squirrels truly mightier than God himself?


14 Mar 2017, 07:00 PM
Third Entry

Deer Diary This is Just a Tribute.

Press play and sing along with us


"Early this morning me and my brother FNUG here,
We were collecting NUTS in a dark and lonesome FORREST.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny ITALIAN.
In the middle of the QUAD.
And he said:
"Play the best GAME in the world, or I'll eat your NUTS." (NUTS)

Well me and FNUG, we looked at each other,
And we each said. "Okay."
And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best GAME in the World, it was The Best GAME in the World

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the NUTS doth shine and the FUR doth glow
And the grass doth grow

Needless to say, the ITALIAN was stunned.
Whip-crack went his whoopy BREX-IT,
And the ITALIANS were done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but SQUIRRELS."


Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh
This is not The Greatest GAME in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest GAME in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest GAME in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest GAME in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafu**in' GAME the greatest GAME in the world.

And the peculiar thing is this my ITALIANS:
The GAME we PLAYED on that fateful MORNING it didn't actually LOOKED
Anything like this GAME.
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, f**k! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
All right! All right"

14 Mar 2017, 08:22 PM
There is too much to read:8)

Keyser soze
15 Mar 2017, 03:32 PM
There is too much to read:8)

Its ok its not homework

placebo you are simply.......NUTs

Dark Is Back
15 Mar 2017, 10:02 PM

Mr. CinghialoTheMain
15 Mar 2017, 11:40 PM

Be careful, my little troll friend. squirrels are my friends.. :@

Dark Is Back
16 Mar 2017, 02:14 AM
Be careful, my little troll friend. squirrels are my friends.. :@

16 Mar 2017, 03:44 AM
Be careful, my little troll friend. squirrels are my friends.. :@

OMG really? Now we have something in common. :)

16 Mar 2017, 11:23 AM
squirrel stew
Directions See How It's Made
Roll the squirrel pieces in flour, salt, and pepper.
Brown in butter.
Add squirrel and all other ingredients, (with the exception of the tomatoes), to the boiling water, cover, and simmer for 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
Add the tomatoes and continue to simmer another hour.

16 Mar 2017, 07:29 PM
Fourth entry:

When a squirrel-family becomes large enough, it is time to expand the territory and inhabit a new tree, in order to ensure all the squirrels are warm and cozy. Finding a suitable tree to inhabit is usually not a difficult task, as there are plenty of trees in the woods. However, when I brought my family out today looking for one, we shockingly discovered that all the best trees were already taken! By some other VERMIN! There's currently foam frothing around my mouth, I hope it's not rabies.


Why doesn't anyone want to just hug a poor squirrel?

Keyser soze
19 Mar 2017, 12:38 AM
Looking for an italian dual please i neeeed 1 mia piache an italian dual

22 Mar 2017, 05:53 PM
Dear diary.

I fear i do have rabies. I met this fox some weeks ago when i first moved into this tree. He didn’t like me very much, and almost bit my tongue off, it may be the source of the contamination.
So our relationship became kind of awkward… last night him and his pals was running around the neighborhood a lot, being all noisy and disturbing my otherwise so relaxing day to day business. So, just to quiet him down a little, I threw some nuts at him. He didn’t like it a lot, calling his friends in the foxy pack. I tell you, nuts, twigs, leaves and some occasional foam from my mouth flew all over the place I even threw myself at one point. Needless to say, We are not friends with the foxies anymore…


27 Mar 2017, 06:01 PM
Dear Diary

I think my fever has broken. It took some effort though. I tried to relax, and went skinny-dipping Saturday, luckily there were no Italians eating pizza by the water. It was great, but to my utter embarrassment I think I saw a fox sneaking around in the bushes and heard him run off. And the next morning, I was informed that some Russian flying squirrels also had seen him, and thrown some nuts at him. I collected a handful of nuts, and went hunting for the foxi through the woods. Not hitting much but treetrunk, earth, weeds and stuff. Apparently I had left my stench on the foxies territory regardless, so he came to my house today to complain. I told him kindly “do you mind sodding off!, needless to say he kinda ran his head against my treetrunk.
Anyways, now I am back to relaxing and the fever has run off, it kinda feels like a vacation (for the both of us).


13 Apr 2017, 01:11 AM
Dear diary:

So much going on, so I haven't had the time to write a lot. I will just summarize with a haiku-poem I created:

Tempting artifacts,
radiating great power,
soon to become ours.

13 Apr 2017, 04:06 PM
Dear diary:

Writing a secondary entry today, as the mood in our treehouse allows it. Found a short clip on younut that depicts everything so well:


Happy easter, all you jolly animals.

- Squirrels