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Thread: The Dysfunctional Vending Machine

  1. #1
    Prolific MemberProlific MemberProlific MemberProlific MemberProlific Member horse's Avatar
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    Default The Dysfunctional Vending Machine

    I got this from a roleplaying site and it's a bit like the corrupt-a-wish thread

    In a dark dismal hallway there sits a lone blinking light. As you come up to it a large metal box says Coca-Cola on the side.
    There is no coin slot but there is a little door that simply says "deposits"
    However, when you deposit a pound coin and a penny it gives you a Queen riding a Penny Farthing instead of a Coke

    In fine print it tells that it's the
    "Dysfunctional Vending Machine: Caution, anything put into the machine comes back defective! Use at your own risk"



    How the game works is that someone will put something into the machine...
    and the next person posts what the other person receives.
    Then that person posts about what they put in the machine (at least two or more unrelated items)

    ______

    I put in a red lipstick, a tutting Librarian, a polkadot umbrella and an iPod

  2. #2
    Egral's Avatar
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    Out pops a red lipstick, a tutting Librarian, a polkadot umbrella and an iPod along with a note from the machine which reads:

    I thought I was dysfunctional. Do you want to swap places?"


    I put a Amy Winehouse and Nicky Clark into the machine.

    The magic scissors always know when I'm bidding on something with 3 seconds to go on Ebay

  3. #3

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    Out pops a shrivled potato and a copy of Lips for XBox 360

    I put in a copy of windows vista, a old newspaper and a half eaten mars bar

  4. #4
    Junior Teuton Member Boat-Tie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mhudson324 View Post
    Out pops a shrivled potato and a copy of Lips for XBox 360

    I put in a copy of windows vista, a old newspaper and a half eaten mars bar
    The copy of Vista has had all of its files corrupted, the newspaper is new and the Mars bar is no longer half eaten! Out pops a note saying " I break fine things and fix broken things!"


    I put in Groggers (who needs fixing ) and an old AK47!

    Shakes head: ()

  5. #5
    Egral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boat-Tie View Post
    The copy of Vista has had all of its files corrupted, the newspaper is new and the Mars bar is no longer half eaten! Out pops a note saying " I break fine things and fix broken things!"


    I put in Groggers (who needs fixing ) and an old AK47!

    Shakes head: ()
    Groggers has been fixed. Please insert something else to retrieve the bits. Out pops the AK47 but it only shoots what Groggers used to before being fixed!!

    I take umbridge with your post - how dare you say vista worked before, It's a pile of poo that forces people to upgrade to the latest software/hardware & a lot of specialist apps won't work atall. Don't get me started.

    I put Bill Gates, a bag of charcoal & some firelighters in to the machine.

    The magic scissors always know when I'm bidding on something with 3 seconds to go on Ebay

  6. #6

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    Out pops a Ubuntu Linux disk and a pair of broken Glasses


    I put in a mug of cold coffee, 4 screws, a bow tie and a half smoked ciggy

  7. #7
    lavalzer1
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    out comes a bucket of mouldy tea, an antelop,an emo's neckbracelet and a voodoo doll

    i put i a porno, some millions(the sweet),a cabbage and some spare change...

  8. #8
    Junior Teuton Member Boat-Tie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mhudson324 View Post
    Out pops a Ubuntu Linux disk and a pair of broken Glasses


    I put in a mug of cold coffee, 4 screws, a bow tie and a half smoked ciggy
    I have linux aspire one laptop!

  9. #9
    Egral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavalzer1 View Post
    i put i a porno, some millions(the sweet),a cabbage and some spare change...
    The machine attempts to combine them and decides the best result for cabbages (one porn, the other her spare change) is Katie Price (Jordan) & Peter Andre. Out they pop along with that wedding dress that cost but looked like candy floss. (RETCH to all)

    I put in Jason Donovan & half a kilo of cocaine (will it ever come out? )

    The magic scissors always know when I'm bidding on something with 3 seconds to go on Ebay

  10. #10
    Junior Roman Member Roadkill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boat-Tie View Post
    I have linux aspire one laptop!
    It's called a netbook and it is no bigger or more useful than my thumb nail -.- WINDOWS FTW!!!!!!

    sorry it had to be said continue with your game

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    Quote Originally Posted by Destine View Post
    As long as you get in a crowd and look inconspicuous while covering the "Destine Super Moderator" bit with your thumb when you show it to Spy/Tullia you should get away with it.

    How do you think I still get into the Travian Staff tea parties?

  11. #11
    Junior Teuton Member Boat-Tie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roadkill View Post
    It's called a netbook and it is no bigger or more useful than my thumb nail -.- WINDOWS FTW!!!!!!

    sorry it had to be said continue with your game
    I know it is called a netbook I just posted laptop because I didn't want people correcting me and saying it is a notebook. It is very useful for what I need. over 200 gigs! Thats ryan gigs to you.

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    Egral's Avatar
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    :spychic: ALERT
    :spychic: ALERT
    Boat-tie & Roadkill are on the loose.

    Back to topic: nothing ever came out of the machine. It did the whole world a favour & hung onto both Jason Donovan & the cocaine.

    Just to be devil's advocate - I put Boat-tie & Roadkill into the machine!

    And for the love of god - PLEASE no more comparing of the size of your notebooks/laptops/netbooks/whatevers!!!

    The magic scissors always know when I'm bidding on something with 3 seconds to go on Ebay

  13. #13
    Junior Roman Member Roadkill's Avatar
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    Out come a dead animal in the shape of a tie

    I put in a BB bullet, a 32" TV and many glass bowls trophys

    I just put in things i can see around my living room

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    Quote Originally Posted by Destine View Post
    As long as you get in a crowd and look inconspicuous while covering the "Destine Super Moderator" bit with your thumb when you show it to Spy/Tullia you should get away with it.

    How do you think I still get into the Travian Staff tea parties?

  14. #14
    Egral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roadkill View Post
    ...I put in a BB bullet, a 32" TV and many glass bowls trophys...
    Out pops a 2ft 8in transvestite on a killing spree. The glass bowls have been turned into dangly earrings.

    I put Sylvester Stallone's mother and Chewbacca into the machine.

    The magic scissors always know when I'm bidding on something with 3 seconds to go on Ebay

  15. #15
    Junior Roman Member Roadkill's Avatar
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    Chewbacca gets wrinkles and goes around pretending to shoot people

    I put in Stephen Fry, a telephone with wheels, a panda called Tul and a clock reading 15:31

    Sig made by HellStick



    Quote Originally Posted by Destine View Post
    As long as you get in a crowd and look inconspicuous while covering the "Destine Super Moderator" bit with your thumb when you show it to Spy/Tullia you should get away with it.

    How do you think I still get into the Travian Staff tea parties?

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roadkill View Post
    Chewbacca gets wrinkles and goes around pretending to shoot people

    I put in Stephen Fry, a telephone with wheels, a panda called Tul and a clock reading 15:31
    Out pops a Stephen Fry novelty telephone with DETACHABLE wheels, a panda called Tul and a clock reading 15:32. :-O

    I put in a travian Gaul, Roman and Teuton and a 2.5 mile long role of bubble wrap.
    Quote Originally Posted by ToySoldier View Post
    He's [shadow5692] right Gerwin, you fail.
    Quote Originally Posted by mullardo View Post
    There is a bug in Quest 3 "change village name to something nice". People have been getting the reward when changing the name to something other than something nice.

    CLICK HERE TO JOIN A SERVER, AND GET 35 FREE GOLD TO BOOT!!!
    Well done! You've found my secret message! Pm me if u found it!

  17. #17
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    Out comes a giant panda covered in bubblewrap eating the gaul, roman and teuton.

    I put in a stuffed lamb and a bag of hair.

  18. #18

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    Out comes a lamb choking on some hair.

    I put in a monkey nut, a pair of pliers and some string.
    Quote Originally Posted by ToySoldier View Post
    He's [shadow5692] right Gerwin, you fail.
    Quote Originally Posted by mullardo View Post
    There is a bug in Quest 3 "change village name to something nice". People have been getting the reward when changing the name to something other than something nice.

    CLICK HERE TO JOIN A SERVER, AND GET 35 FREE GOLD TO BOOT!!!
    Well done! You've found my secret message! Pm me if u found it!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadow5692 View Post
    I put in a monkey nut, a pair of pliers and some string.
    out comes a huge automated nut cracker, operated by teams of monkeys pulling on rope and pulleys

    I put in a radio, a small bottle of perfume and a ceiling fan

  20. #20
    Junior Roman Member Roadkill's Avatar
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    you get a fan that sprays lovly smelling voices

    I put in Horse, a horse, a piese of rope and 1GB me stick

    Sig made by HellStick



    Quote Originally Posted by Destine View Post
    As long as you get in a crowd and look inconspicuous while covering the "Destine Super Moderator" bit with your thumb when you show it to Spy/Tullia you should get away with it.

    How do you think I still get into the Travian Staff tea parties?

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